long-ass post

I'll kick this post off with a disclaimer:

There's nothing I hate more than people saying shit like: "Oh, GOD, you just CAN'T understand this unless you have kids." I find that sentiment, and others like it, to be nauseatingly patronizing.

As if you're a member of some exclusive club.

Even cockroaches have kids.

I always equate the above sentiment to a guy that's been in a horrible, genital-related industrial accident saying to me, "You just wouldn't understand, because you have both your balls." Well, yeah. I do have both my balls but I think I can empathize with your situation.

The same is true for having kids.

(not that having a kid is like having one of your testicles cut off, it's just a super-fun metaphor )

So, please excuse any cliche' statements that may follow and keep in mind the spirit in which this is written. ( Lily is twenty four days old, I mean, what the fuck do I know? )

------------------------------------( end disclaimer )----------

The Birth Itself:

They decided to do a C-Section at 5:00 on Tuesday. I went to the car to get a camera, came back and they were already wheeling Jen into surgery. I then had to get into those paper scrubs they give you and sit and wait for a good 15 minutes before they'd let me go in. When I finally did get to go in, Jen was moderately terrified. So, I just sat and jabbered nonsense at her and about 10 minutes later, there was a baby. I had no idea that they did C-sections so fast. From decision to do C-section to baby, was about 46 minutes total.

I had a brief moment where I accidentally saw her all cut open ( nauseating ), but other than that everything went well.

The Aftermath:

Among other things.....

1. Our pediatrician ( Dr. Rodolfo Barrera for those of you keeping score at home ) was a fucking idiot who clearly didn't give two shits about our kid and was obviously riding the Medicaid train for all it was worth. His staff were incompetent and his office needed to be de-loused. Fuck him. Just because we had to use Medicaid, doesn't give someone the right to treat us ( or our daughter ) like trash.

Again, fuck him.

2. Jen developed a Staph infection in her incision. It's better now, but it was reeeeealllllly disgusting for a while.

3. Shit and piss don't bother me. At all. I deal with it on a much more hefty and disgusting level at work every day. Changing diapers is NOTHING.

4. Jen is way more of a badass than I could ever hope to be.

5. My Mom is awesome beyond what I thought possible.

So, we're adjusting and sort of figuring things out and making a conscious effort not to become "un-people". You know, those parents who tell you that their lives have disappeared and they lose all their personality and spend most of their time comparison-shopping for paper towels and browsing the weekend Wal-Mart circular? They say really trite shit about their children "being their whole world". I think you do your child no favors by ceasing to function as an interesting and maybe even "fun" adult.

I Love my daughter, but she does not define me.

I hope she'll understand.

new pics up here