That'll do, pig. That'll do.

I've long said that I'm incredibly mediocre at a lot of different things, but have yet to master ( and by "master" I mean be at least marginally "good" ) any one thing.

Some call this being a "jack of all trades".

I call it "enjoying trying new things until I figure out how much effort and time it takes to be a step past competent and choosing to take a nap instead".

I think that's the technical term, anyway.

I play guitar. Not so much anymore, but I used to play a lot and I was o.k. at it. I'm sure I could throw a rock from my front porch and hit half a dozen better guitar players than me.

I play poker. I can scratch out a profit but I've never really memorized the tiny amount of necessary odds that I should and I can't pay much attention to a game ( live or online ).

It's not so much that I want to be the absolute, unequivocal, best at any one thing, I guess I just want that personality-defining distraction.

Like that fat, white guy at work that plays golf.

I don't care where you work, there's a fat white guy there who is WAAAAAAAY into golf.

And Asian porn, but that's hardly relevant here.

He has golf plaques on his office wall, a little tee on his desk, golf magazines and golf shirts that say "Titleist" and his disproportionately attractive wife (who's currently fucking his slimmer, younger, more attractive, but two-tax-brackets-down best friend ) buys him a new golf club every year for his birthday.

You know? THAT guy.

I'd like to be like him, but without the fat part, the cheating wife or the playing golf. Make sense?

I guess I've just reached an age where I have some pressing need to hang my personality on an identifiable hook.

I just need my "thing".

I'm totally open to suggestions.